Success Quotes with Kelly Episode 2
Today we are going to talk about this quote that was penned by Dale Carnegie – “Develop Success from Failures. Discouragement and Failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”.
I love this quote. These are powerful and convicting words. To all of us. Have you ever experienced failure? At the time, did it feel like it was crippling? I totally relate. Personally, this quote fills me with hope. I, like many entrepreneurial types of people, have experienced a lot of failure in my life. I am probably a slower learner than most. But I think what Dale Carnegie is saying, is that…its kind of a prerequisite to success. It’s a must. Its unavoidable. Its part of the process. Failure that is.
The truth is, I know that I have learned more lessons from my failures, than from my successes. That is for certain. Did I experience the sinking feeling of Discouragement? Yes. Did I have a little pity party? Oh ya. What about you? Have you ever experienced some sort of failure or set back that thought was crippling at the time? Time in OH YA…in the comments below. But did I learn something extremely valuable or was there a lesson or some sort of positive outcome, that came out of it, in some unforeseen way? Ya. That’s the gift, we get. That’s the gift. Look for the gift. If you have come out the other side and remember the Gift or the Lesson…Tell me about it after the OH YA. In the comments below. It would be cool if people shared here. But would you agree with me that, at the time, It doesn’t feel like there is a gift or a lesson or something positive that will come out of it…but there is always a benefit of some sort. Every single time. Sometimes we get so focussed on the negative aspects of the event. When you break it all down….besides loss of money or stuff or things, that really, is inconsequential when you really get down to it, what is the biggest perceived negative most times when we experience some sort of failure?
The Opinions of Others. Right? Why is that? Why do we spend all of this mental energy worrying about what others say about us. Does that make sense? Well I guess it does because, we don’t like to be judged. We don’t like people talking behind our backs. I think the biggest thing for most – the heaviest thing, is that we don’t want to be seen as a failure to others, our peers, our family, our friends or especially our competitors. I have experienced people talking behind my back. I know that other agents in other offices have “bad mouthed” me. I know for sure. I actually have written proof, of people that have spread lies about me. They have no idea, but I have forgiven them all. But here’s the most important thing to always remember. If you do nothing special. Then nobody has anything to talk about. Its easy to do nothing. Just do less. Do things that are selfish and keep to yourself, make sure your world is safe and try not to make any waves, and then you’ll should be just fine. Nobody will even notice you or have anything to say about you. That option is always there. Isn’t it? I could have chosen to hide in the shadows but what is the net effect of that? Nothing. The easy way out, lives up to its name doesn’t it. Its easy. But here’s the rule that comes with that.
Let’s make this rule. Then you don’t get to wish for more. You don’t get to dream of more. You don’t get to be jealous of the movers and the shakers out there. You don’t get to bitch and complain about your circumstances then. You don’t get to have your comfy cake and eat it to. What do you think? Do you agree? Is that too harsh? Comment below and tell me what you think. I would love to hear your comments on this. What gives them the right to judge when they haven’t chosen to even try, or make an attempt, or risk anything…Right? I decided around a decade ago, not to care. It was a very hard lesson for me. But then I came out of my shell. It was the most transformative decision that I ever made. I tried a lot of things. I tried many ways to help my agents in the office. I tried everything. I employed programs, I tried different campaigns, that all of the other Local Real Estate Company owners, said no to. Some things worked very well. Some things did not work very well. Some things failed miserably. Some of them cost me a lot of money. But you know what? I tried. I was willing to try. I was willing to risk money, time, energy for my agents. I was willing to fail. None of those people that were so excited to criticize, thought to celebrate that aspect did they.
The Willingness to Try…But also the Willingness to possibly Fail. That should be celebrated. You know that guy will try anything to help his agents. He is even willing to risk his own resources to try…Wow. What a guy….Nope, they just salivated over the fact that they got to feast on my failure. I was such an easy meal for them to feast on. That’s ok. They don’t get to enjoy the journey when they are set on a comfy treadmill. You know what I mean? You see… That’s the easy part. It takes no intelligence to point out the obvious. There is no risk in banding together in a little gossip group, and celebrate someone else’s challenges or failures or struggles. Anyone can walk around with their chest puffed out and look down at people who have experienced failure or criticize someone when they make an error. That’s easy. The truth is, there is actually zero honor in that. So, don’t be that person. Be the first to uplift. To support. To have empathy. Be a cheerleader for people who are willing to put it out there. To separate yourself from negativity and nay-sayers and mockers. That is a waste of energy. No purpose is served in that. Do you agree? So why do we give them so much credit? Why do we fear them so much? They are doing the easy thing. The brainless thing. You…the one who has decided its ok to get dirty. To roll up your sleeves and work at something. You are ok if you stumble. You are committed to an idea. To allow your creative muscles to be flexed. To be different. To break the trend. To be more and do more. To do something that has a big chance of being laughed at later.
You – deserve to be celebrated and raised up on a pedestal. You should be revered as someone special – even when it doesn’t work, because you tried. You were willing to do what others are not willing to do. OR are scared to do. Or are not creative enough to even think of it!! Or happy to stay in their comfort zones. So, I encourage you to be ok with Failure. Get comfortable with it. Make it your friend. Not your best friend. Failure is your teacher…not your buddy. See the difference? You have to notice cycles. You have to learn the lessons. You have to take what that experience gives you and input that into your life. Dale Carnegie wants us to learn from those lessons and use those lessons to advance, Our purpose. Our game plan. Our life design. Our “success” whatever that looks like for you. You will experience success. You will. I promise you that. But watch out for that too. The funny thing is, I remember, when I experienced that first taste of success, I immediately, went right to the default, which was – me, of course. I am successful. I have arrived. I am the man. There is a danger in that. Watch out for that. Keep yourself in check. As soon as that happens….the learning stops. Humility disappears and once someone gets into that mode, there is no room or space for the mind to learn and improve. We have to be careful. I have helped many people make a lot of money in Real Estate and they go out on their own all puffed up afterwards and then create their own version of what a successful person is to them, and that’s great…but many times, I have witnessed them getting stagnated at that level. They stay there. They find that comfortable place and then – just stay there. Its ok. There is really nothing wrong with that. I don’t think any less of them. Being satisfied is ok, I guess. But is it really about, being satisfied? Being Content. Is that really what it is, when you dig deep? OR is it fear of Failure. Fear of taking a chance. Fear of Challenging themselves to be better or reach for more. Honestly, if those people were to be really honest, I think it is more about that. So, then the eventual consequence of that…becomes what? Complacency? Becoming complacent is dangerous. Believe it or not, that is one of my fears. I fear that for myself. That scares the crap out of me. I don’t ever want to become complacent. Complacency makes us flabby. We lose our sharpness. We get into a “good enough” kind of mentality. Good Enough is Not Good Enough. Is that ok to just settle for Good Enough? Is it? I don’t believe that is ok. I believe that we are put on this earth to be our best. To do our best. To help others in that. To be better so that we can make the world around us better. It is impossible to get better. To improve. To be our best version of ourselves if we are in a prison of Fear and Complacency. Do you agree with me? Good Enough, is just a state of …existing. Existing.
We are just getting through the day. Just getting through it. Stuck in this prison of Fear and Complacency and it is hard to get out of it once the habits kick in. Every Habit counts. How we think. How we operate our day. How we challenge ourselves. How we judge others. All of those things are habits. I think about this all the time…what thoughts, are going to go through my head, if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, and I am sitting in the hospital looking at the reality of my mortality. Will I be satisfied? Will I look at my life as an instrument for good? Will I feel that I did my best? Will I feel confident that it was worth it for God to put me here? I think about this stuff. So…what is success? How do you define success? What is success to you? Is it a place that you arrive at? What is a successful day? What is a successful phone call? What is a successful week or month or year? What does a successful relationship look like? What are you willing to risk to have it? What are going to do with your God given gifts? “Develop Success from Failures. Discouragement and Failure are two of the surest stepping-stones to success.” Now with that new understanding – here’s the punchline – there are no set backs. No such thing. Everything is a stepping stone. Everything. Every Experience. Every so called Failure is a stepping stone. Does that fire you up? I hope so. I hope you find encouragement in that.
Thank for watching and listening today. Please let me know if you are enjoying this series and feel free to send me some quotes that you want me to dig into on the show. Please comment with an OH YA…and what lesson you learned below…Hit Subscribe, if you haven’t already…and remember to hit that little bell to get alerted when I post another video. Thank you once again. And if, Good enough is not Good Enough for you and you want to be the best you can be … Hit the link below to learn more about our training program. This is Kelly Johnston from 4X Formula Real Estate Training signing off. Make a great Day and always…..Fail Forward…